Q3 TOPIC: Difficult Conversations at Work

3rd Quarter Content

AUGUST 2023

“In today’s politically charged atmosphere, managers must be prepared to enforce their companies’ policies on workplace interactions—and hold employees responsible for maintaining them.” (Dana Wilkie, freelance writer) Political and other conversations are often difficult for people leaders and the approach and outcome are some of the most critical to employee satisfaction and fostering a sense of belonging.

Psychological safety in the workplace, especially with you direct supervisor, is important to the human experience. With the start of the academic year and the many things you likely are juggling, this quarter’s supervisor content is geared towards preparation for difficult conversations and navigating the workplace minefield, including in a hybrid or remote team setting.

SHRM research indicates that employees who work fully in person are more likely to say they’ve experienced political disagreements in the workplace (50 percent) than hybrid workers (36 percent) and fully remote workers (39 percent). Opining on political issues from behind a computer screen may nevertheless embolden some employees to be more hostile or insulting than they would with coworkers they’ll see in person the next day. “Employees who know they don't have to face a coworker with whom they disagree may feel more empowered to make an inflammatory statement,” says Kelly Bunting, shareholder with Greenberg Traurig LLP in Philadelphia.

Three Proactive Steps Managers Can Take, especially in charged times:

• PREPARE.
  • The answer is not to just separate employees or ask them to completely refrain from conflicting discussion topics. 
  • Familiarize yourself with protected speech (see First Amendment training in ICON). Discriminatory, harassing language, nor violence are protected.

“Discipline employees who violate policy offsite in the same manner that you would discipline employees who violate policy onsite.” —Kelly Bunting

• RESPOND.
  • "Workplace experts say a manager’s duty is to intervene as soon as respectful disagreements change in tone."
  • Focusing strictly on the behavior that violates company policy, rather than on the individuals involved, to put the conflicting nature of the discord aside and stay neutral/objective. 
• PREVENT.
  • Consider 1:1 coaching with a neutral third party to help employees use empathy and understand their coworkers.
  • Modeling and regular discussion, addressing issues quickly when they arise, help prevent employees from continuing disruptive behavior and feel supported when dealing with conflicts in the workplace.

Check out this short video with advice from leadership coach, Anne Koopman, on navigating difficult conversations at work. 

And the key to effective communication is often psychological safety in the workplace. There are no guarantees to make this happen however, Anne Grady a resilience expert, shares some of her tried-and-true steps to improve the tough conversations. Most, like step one above, it rooted in preparation.

1. Check your emotional temperature.  
   • How do you want to show up?
2. Define the problem.
   • Be specific and use examples (only as much are necessary to illustrate the issue). 
3. Describe the impact.
   • Put the situation into perspective with how it affects the larger picture and those around us.
4. Let them vent.
   • Invite the person to respond. "Help me understand..." "I'm wondering what's going on..." Be quiet during this time.
5. Agree on the problem.
   • Is the issue you brought up the root, or have you determined something else through discussion? Get aligned.
6. Brainstorm solutions and come to an agreement.
   • Listen, avoid criticism, let them feel heard. Ensure they are part of the solution. Focus on the future.
7. Follow-through.
   • You don't want to have the same conversation again. People repeat behavior that gets attention to be sure to recognize when they do something right.